A week of irritation, idiocy and invaders

This week seems like it has been a catalogue of disasters. It started on Sunday with a much awaited outing to see an interview with Helen Fielding in Leeds. I did some pruning in the morning and checked the weather for Harrogate and Leeds – less than 5% chance of rain it said. Great – can take lighter jacket without hood – less bulk on bus and theatre.

I walked the short distance from home to the bus stop, far too early but I was happy to sit on the bench next to the stop and enjoy the sunshine. I fished my phone out of my pocket. To my horror as I looked down I realised my right foot was sitting in a pool of vomit. There followed lots of Effing and Jeffing as I tried to scrape it off on the grass verge. Not happy with the result I spied a puddle and proceeded to paddle and scrape. Just then there was a red flash as the 36 bus sped past – it must not have been clear I was waiting for it. At the same time the heavens opened and I hurried towards home resembling a member of the royal family as I tried to cover my newly straightened hair with my scarf. Luckily Victoria was able to come to the rescue and drive me to the bus station in time to catch the bus. However this didn’t help the no hood, no brollie situation as it rained heavily all afternoon, so the scarf was well and truly soaked by the end of the day.

Yesterday I tried to pay in my local Coop by presenting a £5 note to the card machine. By the smirk on his face it was clearly going to be a good story for the young man behind the till to tell about a batty old woman.

Today I arrived for my Personal Training session 2 hours early – I was a week ahead of myself. I spent 5 minutes insisting I was right only to have to eat humble pie when I got back to my car and checked our text exchanges. The error meant I had to reschedule a meet up with a friend. I texted her to say I would be with her at 1230 only to find, having hit send that I had sent the message to my PT, which of course caused even more confusion! Worse still I then received a message from Victoria to ask whether I knew badgers had dug up my lawn. I sent the following message to my husband but again inadvertently sent it to my PT:

“Got this from Victoria – she says it looks like they have dug up our lawn – I didn’t notice when I looked out this morning:

“Oh dear you look as if the badgers have been in your garden ☹️ Tony had 2 and also Trevor, 

🙈

🦡”

I replied to Victoria “Ooh what have they done?”

Victoria – “Oh from upstairs it looks as if they have dug your lawn, maybe, hopefully it’s an illusion “

🙃

I googled and spent the next half hour worrying about photos I found on the Saga web site:

A hole in the lawn dug by a badger

Victoria then texted me to say:

“Had a look through natter hatch I may be mistaken can’t tell!! Sorry for the worry I ‘m good like that!!xx”

It turned out the badgers had not dug up our lawn – it was disgracefully long and tufty though and hence the illusion. However Tony and Trevor have been treated to the above in multiple areas of their lawns. I have to say I am quite pleased there are badgers in the vicinity of my garden, but they can stay off my lawn please!

PS the Saga article is worth a read – it contains a few laughs!

https://www.saga.co.uk/magazine/home-garden/gardening/advice-tips/pests/how-to-stop-badgers-digging-holes-in-your-lawn

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